Today I feel lonely.  I miss home but I'm not homesick, I think I'm just ready to get out of the military.

A lot has changed since I first joined.  I've grown up a lot, but at the same time I retained a lot of the little boy I was.

I've had my heart broken more times than I can count since I've been in.

August in particular is just not my month.


Today I missed church where I'm pretty sure I was called to be a ward missionary but I didn't go because I woke up late.  This week is gonna suck without having gone to church.

When I was walking with my friend Jeremy today I discussed with him how if it wasn't getting out of the military to go on a mission I would be spending money much more liberally than I am now.
Deciding to go on a mission is not one of the easiest choices I've made.  In fact it's one of the hardest.

I could simply just reenlist and continue doing whatever I please and live a simple life.  I know that is not what God wants for me.  He wants to give me the opportunity to be happy because he loves me(us).  I don't want to do it because he wants me to or because I feel pressured by the church or my family. I want to do it because I want to do it, because I know it will make me happy, or at the least guide me on to the path to happiness.  I have a very long road ahead and it's going to be hard to even get to it, but after its all said in done (in about 4 years from now) I know it will have made me a better man (and one very ready for a wife and kids[especially because I already feel like I am]).

Oh yeah, and this is most active I've been on here in a while. 


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